Katharine recently introduced me to translationparty.com, and got me addicted to the rather pointless activity of putting song lyrics through it, sentence by sentence.

I have learnt two things from this:

1. No matter how bad a song’s lyrics are, when you translate them back and forth, they will always be worse.
2. I now understand why my language teachers were so exasperated with me on the occasions that I put all of my work through a translator.

Here are the two songs I messed around with. Lyrics are copyrighted to their respective owners, and blah blah blah.

You Will Love This Song – Amber Rubarth

ORIGINAL:

“You always loved the colours and the details, so here’s mine:
I snuck out down a dark 17th Street late last night.
I took my little orange book lamp and the notebook with the stars on the front, the sleeping bag that my ex gave to me to keep me warm, and a black fountain pen to write the words that it was too late to say out loud.

And my eyes turned green, like they do when I’m crying, and my heart it went to blue ’cause you told me that I might not be what you need, you want to try more out, but you’re the only thing I can’t stop thinking about.

Yeah, I like you a lot.. and I think it’s worse than that.

You said you love it when all the words in a song move really fast and your ears have to choose just one little phrase to hold on to.
And you love it when all the chords are really simple so you can play it on the guitar, and then when it goes to a funny one at the end you like that too.
And so I’ll build you a song, and I know you’re gonna love it ’cause I’m putting in all the pieces that you said you wanted in it and I’m writing it here in my room in just my underwear and an orange t-shirt ’cause I know that you’d think that was hot.

Yeah hot, like that day that you called sick for work because we’d stayed out too late at The Cheesecake Factory the night before and we held hands on the beach, and I found that crab in a funny shell, and you took video of me holding it up by the newly painted blue motel.
And you said “I like you a lot” and I thought ‘well, this couldn’t get much better.’

You said you were so happy you met me when you did ’cause you were starting to think you didn’t like people.
And you told me that when I moved that I could still stay in your room for weeks.
But now I’m wondering if I imagined it or if it was ever really there ’cause they say even in magic nothing truly disappears, it just gets stuffed up somebody’s sleeve or behind their hand or on top of their head.. and you forgot to keep your eye on it, you were looking down instead.

So now I’m the fool up on stage at the magic show searching the deck for my card while everyone laughs because they know that it’s in plain sight to see, yeah it’s stuck on your forehead, but I can’t think you’re mean ’cause I volunteered to be misled.

Yeah ’cause I like you a lot.. but I don’t know what to do with it now.

And I like you a lot.. but I didn’t think it’d hurt this bad.

And I like you a lot.. and we both know that it’s worse than that.”

TRANSLATED:

“Like me, your colour, but most of them, please see  the following:
17 in the dark of night I snuck
His words and sounds, is a small star in front of the original orange colour of the light and warm sleeping bags for himself wrote a note to the bushel of black pen, if I’m with him, what he is ?

If you have green eyes, I actually stopped the blue-eyed, ‘I thought in my head.

Yes, I have a lot of you … I think it is a good thing.

This song is really fast, every word is a bit Sunday, January 21, the phrase you need to move, please see the schedule of your choice.
I can play just like guitar music.
?, I know in my underwear in the newspaper, I TONBIRUDO, orange-coloured shirt, I love the music room.

Yes, that day, CHIZUKEKIFAKUTORI, hot night, I was tired of working, my problem is, crabs, clams, from the beach, and called me, and blue video, which depicts the new motel.
I could not get anything more?

Please see him unhappy
If so, you can stay in that room, I have a few weeks
Really strange … crammed into the back of the head stone, but I think the above, I forgot to select him.

Appearance of the volunteers, my card, magic cycle, please play can terminate the amount of laughter in his own stupid fault.

… If you have a deep relationship, I do not have occurred.

I have a lot of you … I have yet to feel it.

We have a lot of people like you … we are good.”

Air Hostess – Busted

ORIGINAL:

“You look good tonight
Let’s go!
Yeah!
Alright!

Walking through the terminal
I saw something beautiful
You left for your duty call

Next I’m getting on the plane
That’s when I see you again
I can’t get you off my brain

Let’s go
That uniform you’re wearing
So hot I can’t stop staring
You’re putting on an awesome show
The cabin pressure’s rising
My coke has got no ice in now

Air hostess
I like the way you dress
You know I hate to fly but I’d feel much better
Occupying my mind writing you a love letter
I messed my pants
When we flew over France
Will I see you soon in my hotel room
For a holiday romance?
Air hostess

Throwing peanuts down the aisle
Stupid, but it made you smile
You came over for a while

Then you whispered in my ear
The words that I longed to hear
“I want you to thrill me here”

You can’t because you’re working
The papparazzi’s lurking
You didn’t know I’m in a band
In England people know me
One photo’s worth a hundred grand
Go!

Air hostess
I like the way you dress
You know I hate to fly but I’d feel much better
Occupying my mind writing you a love letter
I messed my pants
When we flew over France
Will I see you soon in my hotel room
For a holiday romance?
Air hostess

Na na na na
Na na na na
Na na na na
Na na na na
Na na na na
Na na na na
Na na na na

That uniform you’re wearing
So hot I can’t stop staring
You’re putting on an awesome show
The plane has almost landed
So tell me where I’m standing now

Air hostess
I like the way you dress
You know I hate to fly but I’d feel much better
Occupying my mind writing you a love letter
I messed my pants
When we flew over France
Will I see you soon in my hotel room
For a holiday romance?
Air hostess

Cos you’re an air hostess
I love the way you dress
Air hostess
My air hostess
I love the way you dress
Air hostess
Do do do do”

TRANSLATED:

“Tonight, a look at our budget price
Let’s go!
Yeah!
Safe!

Walking in the terminal
I saw something beautiful
To perform the obligations under the left

I will need to get on a plane the next morning
I will appear at that time
I can not turn off the brain’s own

Let’s go
Please wear a uniform
To stop this, I’m still hot
More
Cabin pressure
Ice in my coke

Air hostess
To wear?
Aviophobia improve
You write a letter of love
I’m confused with my pants
I flew to France
In your hotel room
Favourite holiday?
Air hostess

The establishment of a throw peanuts
GERAGERA
I

I whispered in your ear
Longing to hear the word
“I’m here” I’m excited and I

Unable to work for 5 months
Hidden paparazzi
I know the band
I know many people in England
100 photos
Go!

Air hostess
To wear?
Aviophobia improve
You write a letter of love
I’m confused with my pants
I flew to France
In your hotel room
Favourite holiday?
Air hostess

Nana Nana
Nana Nana
Nana Nana
Nana Nana
Nana Nana
Nana Nana
Nana Nana

Please wear a uniform
To stop this, I’m still hot
More
Most of the aircraft landing
Today, I stand please

Air hostess
To wear?
Aviophobia improve
You write a letter of love
I’m confused with my pants
I flew to France
In your hotel room
Favourite holiday?
Air hostess

Air hostess
I love your posts
Air hostess
MAIEAHOSUTESU
I love your posts
Air hostess
?”

“You Will Love This Song” turns into a description about a person suffering from crabs storing their underwear in a newspaper, and trying to feel someone up. Meep.
“Air Hostess”, on the other hand, is from the viewpoint of someone confused about their pants, and concerned about the lack of people wearing uniform on his plane. It is also quite worrying that only most of his aircraft is landing. What happened to the rest of it?

…I think it’s safe to say that I should refrain from using translationparty.com for a while.