I generally dislike strenuous physical exercise, and always have done so. I never learnt how to ride a bike, and – shh – have forgotten how to use a skipping rope. [Neither am I the type to run up and down hills every day, but I have to, otherwise I'll end up being late to everything I go to, but I digress.]
I’m also the owner of a gym subscription, but like most people, have difficulties in actually using it every week. There’s just too many things to fit into a Sunday.

Despite all of this, I am good at running… When I want to. Note the “when I want to”. At school sports days, I never saw the point of “running just to get to the other side of the field”, and would nearly always come dead last. But when running for a bus or any other form of public transport, things are different. I once chased a bus for half a mile in high heels, because it was the last bus of the night and I had no other option.

Although I rarely do any physical exercise, I’m not fat. I eat a normal, balanced diet. I weigh a perfectly normal weight for my height. And all without wasting years of my life at the gym. I have a slight muffin top, but that can easily be fixed with a few more sit-ups.

So when someone who runs a lot makes me feel shitty because I actually feel pain after walking a distance they run every day, all I have to say in response to them is… SCREW YOU.
I may not like physical exercise, but when I do manage to do it, I work hard until I can barely walk the day after, because it makes me feel good eventually. But this event only happens occasionally, because with the endorphins comes the pain. My muscles will always cramp up after doing any form of exercise, and my stamina will never be all that great.

According to people like you, I’m ‘unfit’. But to be honest with you, I don’t think I care any more. I don’t spend hours calorie-counting and making sure I work off all the food I’ve just eaten, and still manage to stay around the same weight and size. I couldn’t be happier with the way I look. A UK size 12 may be big in your eyes, but it’s perfect for me. At least I don’t have to starve myself for it.
So take your pilates and your spinning and your morning runs and stuff them in the face of someone who gives a shit.

Because – guess what? – that’s just not me.

…Now, I’m going to go and have an (almost) midnight snack, because all of this “typing in a fit of rage” thing has probably sucked out many, many calories. And we wouldn’t want that to happen, would we?